Sweet little secret
by MonieConeman
Summary: Everyone has a secret. A secret that we don’t talk about because it hurts. But we never forget it at all. A secret that have to stay in our past, but it still affects our present. And my secret was...
1. Chapter One

Everyone has a secret - a secret that you hide from your best friend and your family, too. This is the secret that affects your whole life; the secret that you can't let go.

Everyone wants this kind of secret to be hidden for good.

Have you ever felt like you're a liar? Have you ever felt like the best thing you can do is staying quiet? Have you ever felt like you're the worst person in the world?

Yes. I know that everyone, at least once in their lifetime, feels this way. But me? I constantly feel like that.

It's because I have my own sweet little secret. The same secret I've hidden from the world for the longest of times. I feel ashamed because of this tiny stumble.

The worst thing about having secrets is that you can't tell it to anyone – not even to the people who know everything about you. It's absolutely miserable and soul-draining to keep a secret, but we still have them, don't we?

I didn't really want things to be like this, but people can't control their feelings. And we only realise we've made a wrong decision when we have already done it, anyway, when there's no going back.

I know, I was hypocritical, but what could I do? I can't escape from my feelings.

My sweet little secret was the most disgusting thing I could ever have. When I talk about it, people always ask me, why have I done this if I think it's disgusting? The answer is simple; It's because I was in love; It's because of the colour of his eyes and the way he looked at me when no one else was around. It's because of his soft hair and his tangy flavour.

We've always acted like the little children who hate each other. We were always so immature when there was someone else with us. He glanced at me in the most contemptuous of ways and he always made sure to insult me. He was my bittersweet affliction.

I will always remember the way he said the word 'Mudblood' and how much it hurt me every time I heard the derogatory term from him. It still breaks my heart when I think about it. I will always remember the way it felt whenever he hugged me - his hug was tight and warm and tempting. He only didthis a few times, after a big dispute or when I cried because something has gone terribly wrong.

He always apologized for being so rude to me in public, but he also always said that we can't be together. And he was right. It would have been strange for everyone.

But the difference between us is, I could tolerate the contempt and he could not. His father would have killed me most probably, but I didn't fear any of the Unforgivable Curses. I didn't fear his father. I wasn't afraid of what other people would think about us. My only fear was losing him.

I will always remember the passionate kisses and the secret dates. They're burned into my memory forever. They're now a part of me - a part of my past.

Everyone has a secret - a secret that we don't talk about because it hurts. But we can never forget it at all. A secret that has to stay in our past, but it still affects our present.

And my secret was _Draco Malfoy_.


	2. Chapter Two

It all started in our third year in the Hogwarts.

Harry, Ron, and I went to our classl, Care of Magical Creatures, which was taught by Hagrid. I can remember how we argued about our stupid Divination class.

"If being good at Divination means I have to pretend to see death omens in a lump of tea leaves, I'm not sure I'll be studying it much longer! That lesson was absolute rubbish compared with my Arithmancy class." I suddenly said. I immediately regretted after the words left my mouth. The boys mustn't get to know this little thing with the Time-Turner that was given to me by McGonagall.

I walked away with my bag quickly. I didn't want any questions about how do I knew what Arithmancy class was like.

"What's she talking about? She hasn't been to an Arithmancy class yet." whispered Ron to Harry.

I've rolled my eyes as I heard these words. I haven't been to an Arithmancy class yet, huh? Actually, Ronald, I had been.

I arrived at Hagrid's hut in time.

"C'mon, now get a move on," Hagrid shouted as he started to lead us to...well, I had no idea about where did we go. I followed the others while Hagrid was talking. I didn't really liste; my mind just wandered somewhere else. Then, I suddenly noticed that we have stopped.

I looked around. Harry and Ron were behind me. I glanced at the group of Slytherins who passed in front of us at that moment. I felt sick as I saw Draco Malfoy in the group.

"Why are you staring at me, Mudblood?" he asked when he noticed me looking in his direction. I didn't want to acknowledge his little taunt so I just sighed.

"Now, firs' thing yeh'll want ter do is open yer books," said Hagrid while he smiled at us. I smiled back at him encouragingly and nodded a little.

"How?" I heard the cold, irritating voice of Slytherin's blond little snob.

"What?" Hagrid asked, sounding perplexed.

"How do we open our books?" Malfoy repeated his question. He wasn't the only one who didn't know how to open Spellotape. Exactly, none of us knew how to do that.

"Yeh've got ter stroke them," Hagrid answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world."Look," he continued as he took mine and ran her forefinger down the book's spine. The book fell open in a few seconds in his giant hand.

"Oh, how silly we've all been!" Malfoy sneered mockingly. "We should have stroked them! Why didn't we guess?!"

"Stupid Pure-blood" I whispered as silently as I could. Fortunately, no one heard what I had said. But of course, Harry wasn't and didn't really want to be as quiet as me when he talked about the blond guy.

"Shut up, Malfoy" Harry countered.

"Righ' then," continued Hagrid, who seemed like he was a bit confused, "so yeh've got yer books an' now yeh need the Magical Creatures. Yeah. So I'll go an' get them. Hang on…"

He strode away from us and went into the forest until he was out of sight.

"God, this place is going to the dogs," complained Malfoy loudly. "That oaf teaching classes, my father'll have a fit when I tell him."

Oh, yes. The infamous sentence: 'My father will hear about this.' To be honest, I think, there was no occasion when his dad actually heard about anything. And at this point, we were all starting to get bored of it.

"Shut up, Malfoy" Harry repeated vindictively.

"Careful, Potter, there's a Dementor behind you" Draco taunted with a faux scared facial expression.

I saw Harry tense at Malfoy's words, but before things could go wrong, Hagrid was back with a...

"Hippogriff!" he said happily, waving a hand at them. "His name is Buckbeak. Beautiful, isn't he?"

This creature was perfect. Really. With its grey plumage and the prideful look in its eyes. I still don't know, how could I compare this to anything else.

I was drowning in my own musings of the creature. A little imagination of being able to touch this beauty... but before I realised, what happened, the Hippogriff suddenly wasn't there and neither was Harry. I looked up at the blue sky and suddenly saw Harry on the back of the Hippogriff. I saw their landing and the proud smile on Harry's tired face. He tasted the freedom in these minutes.

But the thing that happened after that wasn't quite happy.

"I bet you're not dangerous at all, are you?" Malfoy said to the Hippogriff as he got closer to it. "Are you, you great ugly brute?" he laughed at the creature.

It all happened so quickly. Malfoy let out a high pitched scream and in the next moment, Hagrid was wrestling Buckbeak back into his collar as he glanced at the boy who lay in the grass, blood blossoming over his robes. A teardrop ran down his face.

"I'm dying!" Malfoy yelled as the class panicked. "I'm dying, look at me! It's killed me!" he shouted overdramatically as he sobbed.

"Yer not dyin'!" contradicted Hagrid, who had gone very white. "Someone help me, we gotta get him outta here"

I ran to hold open the gate open as Hagrid lifted Malfoy from the ground easily. As they passed, we could see the long, deep gash on the blonde Pure-blood's arm.

"They should sack him straight away!" spatted Pansy Parkinson, also dripping down her cheeks. .

To be honest, I never liked Pansy. She was always a little, unlikeable Slytherin – and last but not least, she was Draco Malfoy's proud girlfriend.

I hated Malfoy too. He was just another snob Slytherin, a detestable Pure-blood child who hated me just because my parents weren't wizards. But curse my empathetic personality! I was worrying about him. It was Draco Malfoy, but that Hippogriff must've hurt him really bad. Nobody deserved to be hurt like that.

I still don't know why but I suddenly made my way up to the Hospital Wing. I was so stupid.

When I entered in the room, I instantly saw Draco with a sling on his arm. And, fortunately, the only person with him was Madame Pomfrey.

"Granger?" Draco frowned. "If you want to say that it was my fault, you can leave now. I don't need the preaching of a Mudblood" he said roughly.

Mudblood. It hurt me everytime someone called me this name. It made me feel like I'm useless because of my non-magical parents.

"I..." I wanted to say something but my only thought was why was I still here? "I just wanted to ask you if you're okay" i managed to say.

I waited for some sort of sarcastic answer from him. I had regretted it at the moment it left my mouth.

But there was no snarky respond or fleer. Draco just looked at my eyes with his light grey ones. A small smile has appeared on his face, but it disappeared in a split second. Butterflies in my stomach started to flying around without halt.

"I'm okay, Granger," he replied, cold and offish.

Pansy Parkinson entered in the Hospital Wing.

"Why are you here, Hermione Granger?" Pansy asked me without even a glance in my direction.

"I just..." I suddenly felt scared. For some reason, I didn't want Pansy to be mad at me. "I was just about to leave," I finally decided to say before promptly leaving the room.

I heard Parkinson asking Malfoy about my presence in there, but I didn't really care about Draco's answers. I just wanted to find mines: _why does Draco Malfoy make me nervous?_


End file.
